Monday, 29 May 2017
I'm not gonna lie. Working full time 5am - 1pm, my alarm going off at 4am, not getting to bed till 9:30pm, looking after 2 kids during the day (which is pretty full on), housework and trying to keep up with stuff I want to do is absolutely killing me.
My OH is off a Friday and Saturday and I sleep most of Friday as he is there to look after this kids. For example I fell asleep at 7pm on Friday then got back up at 1am!! What even is that!! I'm sleeping on Saturday normally about 9pm. Then he is back to work on Sunday 3pm - 11pm. At which point on a Sunday I can stay up late as I'm not tired, but i need to be in bed for 9ish as I'm back up at 4am on Monday. It is a vicious circle!
I really am starting to struggle a bit with this. I can see my mood starting to deteriorate and I tend to get snappy with the kids. I don't want to be snappy with them but after 6pm at night I want to start to kill people lol!
Don't get me wrong! My OH tries to help. But do you know what its like when you see them hoovering for example, and they leave one room and you think, they have missed that bit, they didn't go round the edges of the furniture and now they are going to do another room. Its a shame and I feel guilty but I am a control freak and I just end up going right back round after him lol.
So probably having all this stuff to do is my own fault! But sometimes I just think, I know we could survive with me not working. Ok we wouldn't be able to go on holiday and we would need to super budget. But we got through 5 months with maternity pay, 3 of which were just a basic £600 a month. I know we could do it.
But not working is frowned upon. An I'm not going to name people who would frown upon it. But I just keep thinking can I keep this up!!
Thanks for reading my rants :)